those precious times

those times,
honestly,why I am not able to move on, move forward to another day.
those times was the happiest times for me 
and the moments when I could be the person who I was, back then.
how could i describe it with a word
when those moments was the precious moments of myself that couldnt even be compared with other else.
its like from the last part of the moments itself, the time has been stopped automatically.
i kept wondering,
but the solution is never meet with expectation 
i kept wondering,
how to make all those moment at the time,disappear on my mind.

him
a part of myself,
often popped out the thoughts of why ?
but the answer of the question itself,
never once meet the expection of mind on my brain.

half of myself,
sometimes,
the inner side of me,
often worked hard on something.
something i will never defeated it no matter how hard I tried.
am i such a loser then ?
am i such a greedy then ?

out of curiousity,
my mind will keep wondering around 
back and forth
until those moment will comes with an answer
but
the part of me,
knowledge the facts of myself
I am scared with my own expectation.
is it the answer itself could contain with the small wishes and hopes 
is it the answer itself could make the happier part of me 
popped out just like it used to be.
 make an appearance naturally on my mind.
just exactly same like those moments.

until the last,
the idea of reversing times
so that
 those moments will kept besides me
be a part of me
the hopeless of me
couldnt do anything to remove it,those times 
because those times used to be in my heart
surely,
unknowingly,those moments silently will remains 
be a half part of me.

a person I am now
able to walk on
but never can let out all the past
able to smile on
but the sincerely smile will never looked like how it used to be.

simply,honestly,sincerely
a completely of myself 
have been missing those times 
that precious moments
the me who's able to walk on but never able to move on.
thats it
thats how I am now.


#the more nonsense i wrote,the more sincerely it comes from my heart#