Ahad, 8 Mac 2015

nonsense babbling

successfully done it.although it seem more simplier but it look matured right ? i mean,the new theme of my blog.its been a while since the last time i was changed it.i think around last year maybe.
this blog.pretty much been neglected by me.haha i just have no idea what topic to write here.so far,all the content of my entry,pretty much same all over again.sometimes,when i need to let out all the sadness,i just wrote all out here.

me ? being a twenty year old this year,nothing much i have achieved actually.there are actually a lot of times when i really feel,as the time goes flying fast like a bird,i really have not noticed it how faster a day passed.everyday pretty much same for me,nothing adventurous and exciting for me.

you know how suprised i am when i just look at the date on my desktop.its eight of march already.i think its like yesterday when people been celebrated for happy new happy 2015 and now already in early of march.

Actually,since first of december,last year.ive been going through a session of industrial training until seventeen april.hah.need to wait around a month till can finish it.so far,through industrial training,maybe i learnt something worthy.something that not everyone can get it.me as a person who hard to approach strangers,need to face up bravery.actually,i dont care much if people say that i am arrogant.pretty much admitly,maybe i am.my personality simply can't blend with others easily.it takes time for me to warm up.really took much times until i feel somewhat familiar with the surrounding.maybe now,i am a bit cool down with everything,but still the sense of awkwardness really stick all over me,especially when i was left alone with someone that i am not very close.its really hard to me.really really hard.when i am in between of people much more better than me,somewhat i feel a bit left out.i am not a person can go and simply talk freely to a person especially when there are a gap of our age.sometimes,i wonder,why nobody asked me to do anything instead of somebody else when obviously sometimes i have nothing to do.its not like,i can take a step front to ask it myself.YES.THAT'S TOTALLY my WEAKNESS.I HATE IT so much.i am really kind of person to get shy easily although it really doesnt make sense.i really can be myself when someone started approaching me instead of me who a take an initiatives first.

i am twenty and yet i am still same without any improvement.
I am still a shy,awkward,arrogant,blur.straight forward exactly like how i was back then.
but that persona only comes when i was out from home.
my personality at home totally opposite of my personality outside.
how i wish i can be the annoying.chatter.stubborn,lazy of me outside of home.
but i really can't.the same goes with friends as well.i am still hold in and sometimes a bit too careful of what i do and what i said to them.

i will wait until a day will comes up .
the day,when i can be as much as annoying and chatter I am.. towards someone.
I wonder who the heck actually can take it with a warm smile hahaha