Ahad, 13 Oktober 2013

it's okay even if it hurts

i dunno in this past a week,i got tons of problem that i myself did not have any idea to solve it.
it maybe because of my personalities that i am easily gotten hurt..
as many people who are close with me,know how my personality well,
i admit it my self that i am not like everybody else..i got a very fragile heart that i myself dunno how to handle it properly.
its not my personalities to fight with anyone.as much as i can i will avoid it.
even though i am hurting,usually i am not show it..i just kept it in my heart.
its really hard for me to close with someone as i am scared that they will stab me behind my back.
it took times for me to really open up my self..
but i can say it here now that i am feel really hurt when someone that i already put trust on her.to be myself completely infront of her,blamed me for something that i did not even know how it happened.
and what make me most saddest was in the morning,after "something" happened and i just happened to be in that situation..and outside they was talking like its me who had done it..even though they were not said any name,i know very well its me that they were talking about.the loud tone outside was like want me to hear it.i try to kept calm but i just cant..i feel like *oh well..there were nobody in this world,will trust me?* i was crying alone at the balcony at that time..i felt miserable..i thought them like my close friends but its like its just me who felt like that.like always.i often been someone that people will find when they are in trouble or hard times.but i am also someone that people easily to forget as i am never been someone that important.
so,from that time,ive decided that its better for me to be alone.
i'll try my best to avoid anything that will make me hurt.
ill keep my distance so that i will not hurt anyone and they cant to hurt me.
if people said that i am not forgiven person..not i am not.
i am not someone easily to get angry.
i already forgive them.and i am not mad..
its just u know..i am scared..
once that i close my heart,its hard to open it again..
but i will try it slowly..

can i say this..i always care about what others' feelings..
but why they did not even care bout my feelings..
and if i am wrong..i will immediately appologise to them..

maybe what you guys thought that is a joke..but sometimes,jokes has a limit too..
not everyone can take joke as easily as u can..
just put yourself in my shoes and try to understand what i feel..
i am sorry if ive been too sensitive..but nobody is perfect..
i always said that nobody in this world had same personalities..
so,pls try to understand others' too..